Are you always craving for your partner’s attention? Always want to be with them? Could it be the reason that you are attached to them? But you know what there are not only healthy attachments. Apart from healthy attachments sometimes people build a more damaging sense of attachment from fear or emotional neediness.
Let me share 3 important types of attachment. From these different kinds of attachments not all are healthy but each has its own significance. More precisely you may say that each one is a powerful force.
People with secure attachments in relationships always respect and support one another. That is the reason that these people form relationships based on trust. But the fact is that in securely attached relationship people do observe compromises. The best part of secure attachments in relationship is that people maintain their self-esteem. Securely attached people are able to trust their partner’s affection and maintain realistic expectations of the relationship. This kind of attachment is found in healthy partnerships.
This type of attachment occurs when one partner is always in a desperate need of a fantasy relationship. They consider their own self less important and expect to be completed by their partner. They suffer from a fear of betrayal. A person who experiences anxious attachment is unlikely to trust their partner on a deep level. They are afraid to be alone. Moreover this fear causes them to attach to their partner very quickly. They put emotional expectations on their significant other that are unrealistic and unlikely to be met. This type of attachment is not considered to be in an emotionally healthy relationship.
Avoidant attachments are carried by those people who have been hurt repeatedly.
In these relationships both the partners withdraw emotionally. Despite being the fact that both have intense affectionate feelings for their partner, but unfortunately they are unable to express their feelings clearly. They may withdraw in a dismissive way, which involves distancing themselves from the relationship.
They may throw themselves into work, ignore their partner, cheat, or disappear entirely. Their avoidance could also manifest in a fearful way. They may deny their feelings, refuse to commit, or avoid emotionally heavy situations.
Love always requires an ability to trust your partner.
For example to engage in a loving relationship, you must be generous enough to give affection and emotionally secure enough to receive it. Anxious and avoidant attachments, however, have little to do with your significant other. They revolve around your own unresolved feelings and unmet emotional needs. This is not true love. Selfishness, fear, and control drive these relationships.. Rather than empowering each partner, unhealthy attachment can trap them in a relationship that is emotionally draining and unfulfilling.
“Selfish love hurts, selfless love heals,” wrote Rob Liano.
Refuse to settle for a love that hurts you both. There is something better out there, and you will find it someday – but only if you keep looking.